Monday, August 16, 2010

Horny Go Sexy

I must admit I do watch XXX movies (well everyone does the same banana, it doesn’t really bother me at all) some people does, it doesn’t just give us the tingly sensation we call libido but at the same time we get a chance to pee[ with the hottest strippers and porn stars in town.

We often take it for granted. But do we ever tried to ask ourselves the questions: do they voluntarily subject them selves into these kinds of situation? Or do they love the things that they’re doing? Or do they have any regrets at all? We cannot judge since they also have their own choices just that they chose that. But isn’t it funny, we watch these kinds of videos but were asked on our opinion with regards to this issue we often say that “This is disgusting”, “It’s beyond Gods way of teaching us how to live.”

We became so unfair. This issue reminds me of this very sensational male and female celebrity (you know who are they) who also had this so-called video scandal that hit a million hits in porn sites. The male celebrity is accused of abusing the female celebrity but as you watch the video, the female celebrity pumps herself all-out. The video says that she voluntarily had sex with the male celebrity. Personally if you’re going to ask my opinion, it was the video taping the scene that was meant too-violently abusive but the female celebrity allowed herself to have sex with he male celebrity. Therefore, she has nothing to file with because there was no abuse on it. She subjects herself onto the man so there’s no reason to file for case with regards for her having sex with the guy because the video itself shows that she liked it…and she can’t deny that. (The male celebrity sucks!!!)

- I’m going far beyond the topic.

As I often say, we have to choices in our lives. It’s whether we go to the good or we became the bad-asses (but sometimes we became bad-asses because we have a reason…well, it doesn’t matter) I guess its about time for us to step-out of our shells. We cannot stop the world from changing. We are no longer living in the time were every person must act accordingly. But now, even if you make a scene in front of he crowd no really cares. Nothing matters. Its not really about the morality that was at stake in this industry whether soft porn, hardcore videos, taboo classic scandals and any form of visual nudity but us depicting our society. We know for the fact that its is too hard to find a stable job since we are all suffering from the global economic crisis. Meaning we cannot blame them because they were doing the same thing we does just that they have a different occupation. And the salary that they gain from this job is far high than the usual wage that a regular employee has in their job. Imagine, if we just have a better economic stranding. There’s no poverty, no corruption. And there’s no sexy film being aired on theaters or in DVD’s because no one will be acting in this movies. But as long as the change that we expect doesn’t come yet. We shall be used on seeing this people exploiting themselves in screen. I’m not that stupid not to blame ourselves because if we don’t patronize these kinds of act no one will be encouraged to do this things.

I shall be walking in the streets of Divisoria seeing assorted types of videos. Asking myself how much time would it take to make this end. I know it will take so much time but I just hope that everyone will help. So that even if its legal or illegal, valid or not somehow (because I know for the fact that there’s no way to stop this) this horny thing going on will lessen.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Ang Budhi Ni Emilio

Ano nga ba ang dahilan kung bakit nabubuhay tayo?

Meron din bang saysay yun kung mamamatay din tayo?

Ano bang pakiilam ko! Sabagay tao rin ako na nabubuhay pero sa kalaunan eh mamamatay. Tanggap ko na ang katotohanan na ganito talaga sa mundong ito, walang permanente lahat din nagbabago. Malay mo isang araw kaharap mo pagkatapos kinabukasan makikita mo nalang sa loob ng kabaong. Diba nakakaloko?

Lumaki akong ulilang lubos sa mga magulang. Walang nanay, ni tatay. Walang mauuwian kasi wala ng tahanan. Itinakwil na ng mga natitirang kamag-anak sapagkat wala naman daw akong pakinabang. Kulang nalang isuka ako ng lipunan na aking ginagalawan. Bata palang ako noong iwan ako ng aking tiyahin sabahay ampunan. Noong namatay ang aking mga magulang siya ang nagprisintang kukupkop saakin, pero di rin naman naglaon eh pinagsawaan narin niya ang pagaalaga saakin. Kaya nong kaarawan ko pinaniwala niyang mamamasyal kami sa mall, pero yun pala iiwan din ako.

Ayun idinala ako sa Asilo de Roxas sa may Sucat. Kunwari’y dadalawin ang kaibigang madre, uloliin pa ba ako! Alam ko na mismo noong oras na iyon na ipamimigay niya ako. Tandang-tanda ko pa noon wala kaming dala-dalang damit ko noon. Ang sabi lang niya ay babalik siya kinabukasan para idala ang mga damit ko. Pero lumipas ang mga araw, linggo, buwan at taon, wala ng nag pakitang Tiya Myrna. Lumipas ang aking pagkabata sa loong ng ampunan na naniniwala na babalik sya pero eto inabutan na ako ng pagbibinata sa loob wala paring Tita Myrna sa ampunan.

Siyam na taon pa ang lumipas, dise-otso anyos na ako. At alinsunod sa batas sa loob ng ampunan e pag naka-abot ka na sa 18-anyos at wala paring kumukupkop sayo e papaalisin ka na nila doon. Samakatuwid malaya ka na.. Dala-dala ang 3 pares ng damit kabilang ang 3 gula-gulanit na brief na pinag pasa-pasahan ng mga nakatatanda noon dun at isang-libong piso, pagkatapos nun e umalis naako.

Noon wala akong alam kung ano ang haharapin ko sa paglabas ko dito sa ampunan. Simpleng pagsusulat at pag-aaral lamang ang aking natutunan. Tanging ang pangalan ko lang na si Emilio Nebran ang aking alam.

Sinubukan kong hanapin ang Tiya Myrna ko noong paglabas ko sa ampunan. Pagdating ko sa aming dating tinutuluyan e sabi ng mga aking pinagtanung-tanungan e mga labing-amin na taon ng patay ang aking Tita dahil daw sa isang aksidente sa kalsada.

Anak ng puta! Akala ko pa naman eh mahahanap ko siya yun pala hindi na, lahat nalang ng taong mahalaga saakin nawawala. Una ay si ama, sunod si ina ngayon pati ang aking Tita Myrna.

Noon nawalan na ako ng pag-asa hanggang sa may sumitsit saakin. Yun pala ang aking kababata., si Popoy. Kasa-kasama ko sya noon sa ampunan pero hindi kami masyadong malapit sa isat-isa. Ang mahalaga nalang saakin noon ay makahanap ng taong matutuluyan. Kaya kahit hindi kami masyadong magkakilala eh pinatos ko na. Sinundan ko sya sa mga eskinita sa mga pinasok namin hanggang sawakas eh nakarating na kami sa tirahan niya. Doon narin nakapag-kwentuhan na kami sa isat-isa. Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman namin na pareho kami ng pinanggalingan. “Si Emilio pala ito oh!” ika ni Popoy. Napa-iling nalang ako kahit hindi ko sya kilala. “Ako yung binata na nakatira sa cottage na katabi ng sainyo noon” sambit niya.

Doon nawari ko na isa siyang mabuting tao. Kaya makalipas ng ilang mga araw eh hindi na ako naiilang sakanya. Isang kargador sa pier si Popoy, kaya isang araw noon ay isinama niya ako sa trabaho niya. Malamig noong mga kapanahunan iyon. Pero dahil nga trabaho iyon eh pinatos ko na. Buwan pa ang lumipas ganito ang aking sitwasyon. Nagaalaala na ako. Bakit kaya ganito? Minsan nga eh sinabi na ni Popoy na pumunta na ako sa doktor. Pero ako naman itong umayaw.

Trabaho parin ang nasa isip ko noong araw na iyon.

Isang araw, tumakbo ang isa naming kasamahan sa bahay. Takot na takot niyang sinabi saakin ang sinapit ni Popoy, napag-tripan daw si Popoy ng mga iskwater doon kay yun ninakawan at di pa nakuntento inundayan pa ng saksak. Kawawang Popoy, hindi na inabutan ang sarap ng buhay. Ayun ang agang namatay. Noon ay konti ng gumiginhawa ang pakiramdam ko.

Naiisip ko noong mga huling araw hanggang ilibing si Pedro, malas ba ako? Bakit kaya lahat ng mga tao sa paligid ko eh namamatay? Siguro sinumpaako.

Yan ang mga kaisipan na tumatakbo sa isipan ko hanggang sa aking pagtanda. Oo takot akong maiwan, kaya bago ako iwanan uunahan ko na sila. Ako na ang mauunang magiiwan. Nakapag-asawa ako ng isang tindera ng isda sa aming lugar. Di nag laon inanakan ko siya at pagkatapos e iniwan ko. Para saakin sa paraang ganon e maipaparamdam ko sa iba kung gaano kasakit ang maiwan, ang mawalan. Marami pa akong nakatagpong mga babae at ganun parin ang sistema kong ginagawa. Bubuntisin ko tapos iiwan. Di pa ako natapos doon, sa mga inuutangan ko. Pinapangakuan ko na babayaran ko sila pero sa totoo lang, wala na akong balak pang balikan sila. Onti-onti ay nakakaramdam ako ng konting kaligyahan.

Ang makita silang nagdurusa ang aking kasiyahan. Kilala ako sa lugar namin na maitim ang budhi. Kasi daw aako ako ng responsibilidad pagkatapos ay iiwanan ko rin.

Isang araw habang akoy nagtatrabaho muli akong inatake ng ubo. Tanda ko pa na nung una e saglit lang na dumaan ito. Pero bakit ngayon e halosdi na matanggal? Lumipas ang mga araw lalo na akong humina, ang dating malakas na kargador e rumupok na. Muli kong naalala ang lahat. Mula sa aking pagkabata, hanggang sa pagbibinata. Ngayon na ako’y napaglilipasan na ngayon ko lang nalaman na sana hindi ako gumanti sa pagkakataon. Na sana hindi ko tinakbuhan ang mga problema ko. At ang higit sa lahat eh sana hindin ako gumanti sa kapwa ko.

Kaya eto ako ngayon nakalatay sa inaamag na karton, umaasa nalang sa mga kaning-lamig at konting ulam na bigay ng mga kapitbahay ko. Doon ko napagtanto na kung sana hindi ako nagpadala sa mga kawalan ko edi sana meron akong nakakasama ngayon.

Pero wala naman akong pinagsisisihan kasi ginusto ko ito, kaya kahit anong mangyari handa na ako.

-WAKAS-

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Golath's Remedy

I may be a giant, but mind you I think like Goliath.
Though I may look rude, others treat me coward.
Yes, im plain and deaf, but inside my heart breaks.
People thought I can stand alone.
But I need someone who’ll be my stone.
I may pretend that im alright.
But through the eyes of God I cant deny its right.

Though im sick and tired of these things,
I have to expose myself for me to have a living.

I am crippled by others more often,
But neither care anymore.
My system serves me right.
For me to continue living, I have to be breathing.

Monday, August 2, 2010

A Poem To Someone

I never knew that I’ll fall for you this way.
Maybe its quite too bazaar, too odd to hold on.
But I’m still here *having a hard time to go on.*

You are the GIRL that I use to look for.
Your smile :) serenades my dry skin at all.
Just so gentle not to be renowned on.

Yes I am a fool, too fool not to face you.
You who’s just so fine to make me groan.
Sometimes I feel that we were not meant to.
There are moments of us that I’d let myself to pass on.
Oh I’m too fool not to stand for you.

Do I deserve to feel this way?
Do YOU deserve to be treated this way?
Should I let myself give in?
Should I let you run to someone keen?

I’m the coward one who will stand for your mishaps.
I am the numb one who’ll take out the pain that you feel.
I’ll be the flame that’ll be the one who shall melt your icy aches.
I’ll be your brush who slowly help you to paint a better image…of you and me.
I’ll be the isle that you could step on to.
I’ll be the guide to the place somewhere we know.

For the mean time I couldn’t ask You to say I love you at all.
But I’ll shout to the entire earth how I love you so.

Defying Gravity

It hurts to fall.
It could cost us would, scars and pain that we my take forever.
But I just realized that gravity has two equal sides.
The one that we can feel.
And the one that makes us feel.

Gravity makes us stable as we live here on earth.
But the inner gravity in our hearts cannot assure us we’ll be stable in our lives.

Sometimes it’s quite better to float in the air being sure not to fall;
Rather than to feel secure below then suddenly, you’ll float in the air.
Leading nowhere.

In real life, gravity may come and be gone.
It is a binary choice.
A choice wherein it’s either you’ll bring a booster bag that once you float,
You can still go back on the ground and process way back again.
Or you’ll take it off so sure for you not to float in the air.

But I shall always remember, it hurts as we fall.
It is way too superficial.